Thursday, August 27, 2009

Uncle Bill's Witicisms

Uncle Bill is a dear ole' chap with a keen sense of humor. He has always been a favorite of my hubby. UB, now in his 80's, sends us witicisms he gets from who knows where. They are all hand written. He keeps the original and sends us the copy-from carbon paper no less. I didn't realize they still made carbon paper! (I will be glad to give the author credit if I could find out the author!) Thanks Uncle Bill, you keep us smiling.

*Confessions are good for your soul, but bad for your career.
*Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is.
*A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.
*Time is a great healer, but a bad beautician.
*All I want is a chance to prove money can't buy happiness.
*Here I am, what are your other two wishes?
*Friction can be a drag.
*Your whiny, crybaby opinion would be what?
*I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
*Lottery: a tax on people bad at math.
*For Sale: Parachute; Used once, never opened, small stain.
*If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her boyfriend?
*#1 Rule for Success, don't tell anyone you know.
*Mental floss prevents brain decay.

1 comment:

Cupcake said...

hilarious! Uncle Bill just kills me.